I must admit the past 6-7 days have taken quite the toll on me. Emotionally, physically, and mentally I'm at breaking points. Some more than others. Physically, I know I'm broken. X-rays show the proof of broken and corroding bones in both my right hip and knee. Emotionally, I'm sad, angry, depressed, which is mentally driving me mad. I'm confused about relationships with my friends. I'm upset with my inability to leave well enough alone and I'm disappointed in always be judged for my attitude and condition. The stress affects me physically by increasing my pain levels, causing additional muscle aches, and unfortunate stomach issues resulting in daily bowel problems. I'm tired of not sleeping. I'm tired of the pills. I'm tired of never feeling like I belong.

Yesterday, my son asked me why I sounded so sad. All I said was, "hello". Today, he barely spoke and I actually hung up the phone on him. I begin to question my own veracity.

Always alone in a crowded room, lost in the voices of a clouded mind.

Good night.