Trust what they say

I would like to think I can take a person’s word a gospel, but usually I need to learn through my own experiences. However, when a seasoned nurse gives you sound advice, I suggest you take it and not test the waters.

I learned a few things the hard way during my stay at Brigham and Women’s. First, throw your pride out the window. If you need help, then you better ask, because whatever is about to happen, you probably can’t handle on your own. Second, don’t feel bad about making or causing an accident. I now give my son this advice, as some times in life, accidents are unavoidable. Third, when a nurse gives you advice (helpful hints) as to what to expect and how to prepare, don’t think they are blowing smoke up your butt. They have seen it all and know a whole lot more than you.

This brings me to a funny and somewhat gross topic. There is no such thing as a “Dry Fart” in the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) ward. A nurse told me these exact words 3 days into my 4 week stay in the hospital. Humility is an awful thing to learn in a moment’s notice.

Imagine yourself, laying in bed, watching TV, and that normal gassy feeling hits your stomach. No ones around, not a big deal. Just let the gas go. Whoa! What the F’ck! Crap! Literally, crap. Ok, first time was a test. Damn, she was right. Second time was all my fault. Shame on me. Third time, I couldn’t get out of bed in time. Talk about embarrassing. A 30-year old male barely being able to control his bowels. I repeat. Check your pride at the door.

So, Yes! There IS NO such thing as a “Dry Fart” in the BMT ward. Almost as bad as my first two nights in the hospital, when the nurse hooked me up to Lasix (a diuretic) while I was sleeping to help me pee out the extra chemo. Nothing like waking up every 15 minutes to take a leak. I suppose it is better than shitting your pants for a week, or not being able to fart for 6 months but not by much.

Don’t go anywhere. The real fun is just beginning. There will be crying, vomiting and fun reality to come. Please stick around you don’t want to miss this.

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all!
Cheers,
~Adam

4-star treatment

Picture this. You have your own room. You have your own bed. You have your own bathroom and shower. You have a TV with cable and a DVD player. You have a view of the city. Someone makes your bed, cleans your room and bathroom, brings you food and drink to order, and bathes you everyday. Sounds pretty good right? Where do I sign up? Let me further elaborate.

Your room has a glass wall and door. Your house is a semi-circle corridor of 12 exact same rooms. You are under constant surveillance in your self-contained fishbowl. You aren’t allowed to leave your enclosure without safety mask and gloves. Every four hours whether you are asleep or awake, someone interrupts you and every 12 hours you give blood. Your intake and outtake (that’s right, good ole’ #1 and #2) are kept for examination and measured several times a day. Now how does this sound? That is taking 4-star treatment to the extreme.

Yes, this is the life I led for 4 straight weeks in the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) ward at Brigham & Women’s hospital in Oct and Nov of 2008. However, what I just described may actually sound like 4-star treatment after I divulge more of my experiences.

I’ll allow you to digest this information and if you want to stay with me, more fun will follow.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Cheers
~Adam