Trust what they say

I would like to think I can take a person’s word a gospel, but usually I need to learn through my own experiences. However, when a seasoned nurse gives you sound advice, I suggest you take it and not test the waters.

I learned a few things the hard way during my stay at Brigham and Women’s. First, throw your pride out the window. If you need help, then you better ask, because whatever is about to happen, you probably can’t handle on your own. Second, don’t feel bad about making or causing an accident. I now give my son this advice, as some times in life, accidents are unavoidable. Third, when a nurse gives you advice (helpful hints) as to what to expect and how to prepare, don’t think they are blowing smoke up your butt. They have seen it all and know a whole lot more than you.

This brings me to a funny and somewhat gross topic. There is no such thing as a “Dry Fart” in the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) ward. A nurse told me these exact words 3 days into my 4 week stay in the hospital. Humility is an awful thing to learn in a moment’s notice.

Imagine yourself, laying in bed, watching TV, and that normal gassy feeling hits your stomach. No ones around, not a big deal. Just let the gas go. Whoa! What the F’ck! Crap! Literally, crap. Ok, first time was a test. Damn, she was right. Second time was all my fault. Shame on me. Third time, I couldn’t get out of bed in time. Talk about embarrassing. A 30-year old male barely being able to control his bowels. I repeat. Check your pride at the door.

So, Yes! There IS NO such thing as a “Dry Fart” in the BMT ward. Almost as bad as my first two nights in the hospital, when the nurse hooked me up to Lasix (a diuretic) while I was sleeping to help me pee out the extra chemo. Nothing like waking up every 15 minutes to take a leak. I suppose it is better than shitting your pants for a week, or not being able to fart for 6 months but not by much.

Don’t go anywhere. The real fun is just beginning. There will be crying, vomiting and fun reality to come. Please stick around you don’t want to miss this.

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all!
Cheers,
~Adam